I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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