so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
