What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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