she was so not down for the gang bang
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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