No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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