I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
