angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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