Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
