i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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