How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize