I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
