This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
