She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
