I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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