fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My feet surprised me
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
