I think I am morally bankrupt
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
