there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
