I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
