no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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