You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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