i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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