I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
