I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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