She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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