im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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