Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
