I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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