you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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