Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
