Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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