i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
