WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ugly people sure do ruin things
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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