I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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