We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
