I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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