i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
