I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
