I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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