did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
