The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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