I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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