she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize