Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
