The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
