Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just want nice things and good sex
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
