You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
