AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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