With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
