ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
