Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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