my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
