Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
