Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
