I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
