I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize