i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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