Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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