Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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