Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize