I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
