Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
