Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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