First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
